Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
