He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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