TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
