Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I love you.
Bad choice
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
