Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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