The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
