Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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