After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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