Barsexuality is the new black.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
3 2 1 whiskey
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
