The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
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