hell yes lets make some ravioli
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
