She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
