I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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