FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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