member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
