Non-Jews are for practice
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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