At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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