I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
