the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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