What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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