so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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