Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
