i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
