Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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