i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
they're like a gay fantastic four
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize