I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
