found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
