Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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