So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
