WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize