My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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