If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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