remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
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