Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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