I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
