what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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