I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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