Your tits are I can't wait for
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
