We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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