so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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