why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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