It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
