Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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