Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
