Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
This house was built for laser tag.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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