quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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