Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
this is an emotional support booty call
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
