I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
