Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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