What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
