Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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