How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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