I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
