yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
