i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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