a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
