He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
