I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize