pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I think I died a long time ago.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
