do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Randomize