dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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