he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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