is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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